Surprise, surprise! Chris Rock was hilarious last night at the Paramount Theatre, the first half of a sold-out, two-night stand there. He did lots of political material, as you might expect in an election year. And I went with pop culture writer Bill Hutchens who observed that Rock had maybe mellowed a bit with age; he never reached the shrill outrage of the "who ate daddy's big piece of chicken?" routine from a few years back. But the guy has still got it. My only regret was that I read that blasted April 3 Rolling Stone cover story on the guy, which basically gave away 60 percent of last night's punch lines.

So, if you're going tonight, or plan to see him when he comes back in August, skip the spoilers below:

On Seattle: "I love Seattle 'cause it's the home of Starbucks (pause) and the home of Sir Mix-A-Lot. ... 'Baby Got Back' is for amateurs. 'Posse on Broadway' is the cut."

On voting: "If they wanted you to vote, they wouldn't have the election on Tuesday. ... It's easier to vote for 'Dancin' with the Stars' than it is to vote for president."

On the ego it takes to run for President: "You know how much Puff Daddy juice you gotta ingest, how many Kanye injections you gotta take?"

On John McCain's age: "Who's gonna be his runnin' mate? A nurse? He used to own Sidney Poitier! ... How are you gonna make decisions about the future when you aren't gonna be here?"

On Hillary Clinton's experience: "I've been with my wife for over 10 years, and if she got on stage you wouldn't laugh at all."

On Barack Obama: "That's the blackest name I heard in my life. That's right next to Dikembe Mutumbo. ... You expect to see a brother from the Commodores. Not Lionel Ritchie, one of those greasy n---- behind him."

On the Rev. Wright controversy: "A 75-year-old black man who hates white people. Is there another type of 75-year-old black man? Do you realize his whole third grade class was lynched?"

Sexism vs. racism: "I don't remember no 'no white women' signs."

On the devalued U.S. dollar: "The (Canadian) homeless wouldn't take a dollar. 'could you change that over, please?'"

On hatred for Barry Bonds: "It was like there were little dead baby seals in the balls he was hittin'."