So on a scale of one to 10, how shocked were you all when you found out that Bernie Mack died today? He'll be missed. And life is short, y'all. Do what you gotta do while you're still here.

I heard a rumor this weekend about Bad Religion headlining Endfest. Nothing up on their web site yet. And that hasn't been confirmed with KNDD-FM (The End, 107.7). We'll see if it's true when the Seattle station makes it's big announcement in the days ahead.

Are you ready to roooooooooooooock? A fan salutes Buckcherry during Crue Fest Friday at Auburn’s White River Amphitheatre.
ERNEST JASMIN

Wha-wha-whaaaaaat? Mick Mars goes to bed at 10? Tommy Lee is an eco-friendly vegetarian? And Nikki Sixx is a fan of – gulp -- Madonna? Sweet sassy molassy! What is this world coming to, people?

I gleaned all of the above from a recent Motley Crue article in Blender. And, needless to say, my world view was all shaken like a Polariod picture before Friday’s Crue Fest show. I mean, those guys I read about weren’t the ridiculous, sleazy kings of glam-metal. They were some disappointingly mature and middle-aged facsimiles, more like Milquetoast Crue. I mean, I’m no diehard fan or anything, but there are certain things you come to count on in this world. Taxes will always be due on April 15, and Motley Crue will forever act like a group of overgrown, tattooed frat boys, right?

Well, leave it to drummer Tommy Lee to restore my faith in the grand scheme of things. He did this during the portion of the show dedicated to aiming a video camera at voluptuous chicas spotted in the crowd, their cue to free their ya-yas for everyone to see on the big screen. And there’s never, ever a shortage of willing flashers at Crue show. That and the copious amounts of girl-on-girl porn spliced into the band’s video feed (even during kinda politically themed moments, strangely enough) went a long way towards re-orienting my bearings. Yep, these were the same debauched knuckleheads I remembered from back in the day. I could sleep well Friday night. Or I would have been able to I didn’t suspect I needed a syphilis check just for being in the audience.

But really, what else can I say about a Motley Crue show that you wouldn’t already guess happened? The Crue packed enough shock and awe pyro into 90 minutes of RAWK to vanquish the Taliban. They delivered enough party hearty anthems – “Shout at the Devil,” “Wild Side,” a little “Live Wire” – to keep a full house raising their "devil horns" and partying like it was 1988. (But what? No “Piece of Your Action?” Duuude. The set list can be found here, by the way.) And singer Vince Neil – he of surgical VH1 makeover fame – hit many a high-pitched crescendo, '80s metal crescendo, even if his pipes ain't quite what they used to be. And is it just me, or has his voice gotten super nasally, sounding a bit like comedian Jim Breuer doing an impression in some spots?

Frankly, the only thing that could have topped this orgy of “butt rock” goodness was a surprise cameo from Dr. Rockso the Rock ‘n’ Roll Clown. “I do cocaaaaaaaaaine!” It was fun for a spell. But thank Crom that grunge came along to shake America out of its Aqua Net-fueled stupor.

Speaking of unfortunate hard rock trends, I was surprised that Papa Roach, one of the evenings openers, still inspired such rowdy devotion long after rap-rock became taboo. This was especially true when singer Jacoby Shaddix jumped into the G.A. pit and weaved his way up to the sound pit midway through his band’s set. And part of the band’s longevity can, no doubt, be attributed to a savvy savvy makeover. Shaddix now sports an emo ‘do. He upgraded his stage moves from that stomping “running man” dance he used to always do in concert; and he kept the rapping to a minimum. At least as long as possible.

“Do we have any old school Papa Roach fans in the house?” he screeched toward the end of Papa Roach's set.

Many screamed back their approval. And then we were back in the band's Anger Management Tour days with “Broken Home” and inevitable set closer “Last Resort.”

But Buckcherry was by far the most entertaining opening act, and also the one most obviously descended from the Crue itself. Like last year at Pain in the Grass, the L.A. glam-metal outfit delivered crowd-pleasing anthems like “Everything” and milked “Crazy Bitch” for 10 super raunchy minutes, even slipping snippets of Billy Squier’s “The Stroke” and Prince’s “Sexy M.F.” into the mix for good measure. The band also played a new funk-rock number called “Too Drunk” from forthcoming album “Black Butterfly,” which is due in stores on Sept. 16.

"I'm gettin' drunk all, night, I'm gettin' drunk all day," sang charismatic frontman Josh Todd in this anthem about -- how shall we say? -- binge drinking's impact on sexual performance. I'd expect it to be a big hit on KISW and Funky Monkey this fall.

I've got a java I.V. goin', so I should have a few notes and maybe a photo posted from last night's Crue Fest show pretty soon (even if they made us shoot from way back in the @#%@%@ photo pit last night. And me without one of those fancy, schmancy lenses that "professional photographers" use -- you know, the ones that cost as much as a '93 Honda Accord that can take high-res close-ups of the surface of the moon.) While I get that sorted out, here's Motley Crue's set list.

Motley Crue set list
Aug. 8, 2008
White River Amphitheatre

Kickstart My Heart
Wild Side
Shout at the Devil
Saints of Los Angeles (with Buckcherry's Josh Todd, Papa Roach’s Jacoby Shaddix, TRAPT's Chris Taylor Brown and SIXX: A.M.'s James Michael)
Mick Mars solo/Voodoo Chile
Live Wire
Sick Love Song
MF of the Year
Don’t Go Away Mad, Just Go Away
Same Old Situation
Primal Scream
Looks that Kill
Girls Girls Girls
Dr. Feelgood

Encore:
Home Sweet Home

Openers: Trapt, Sixx: A.M., Papa Roach and Buckcherry