Never judge a person by the size of his cup. Even if it's holding a random blend of free wine poured by responsible strangers.

We caught up with this month's 100th Monkey Laura Eklund and her husband Matthew to ask them five questions, because they have been honored as the Gritizens of the Week.

1. What’s it like trying to organize such a big party like 100th Monkey?


It's like creating a piece of art for us. We just think of it as a blank canvas and start to throw different ideas at it. The 100th Monkey party was a breeze. The community has really grabbed ahold of this event, so it seemed effortless. Our other events require a lot of preparation, planning. It's hard work but when it comes down to that day you've been working up to, you're like hell yah, I can't wait for next year.

=> Read more!

I never thought I'd write these words, but if you've ever wanted to see Justin Timberlake perform, we might be able to hook you up.

Yup. J.T. is performing at le Tacoma Dome on Sept. 8 and we have two sets of tickets to give away. But we can't just ship them to the ninth caller or something. We have to make things fun.

We're still hammering out the details, but here are the official minutes that I snuck out of the meeting:

Laura: We got the tickets.
Group: Yahoo. High fives! And lots of back patting!
Laura: Now we have to think of a name and figure out the rules for the dance contest. Get to work!
Cole: So, the readers are going to tape themselves dancing to a J.T. song and we decide which one is best?
Laura: Yes.
Cole: So, um, what if they pick the, uh, SNL box song?
Laura: There's a clause that says no inappropriate content will be posted on our site ... Can't you monkeys think of any names? Get to work!
Crickets: Chirp.
Niki: Oh! Can we please call it "Tix in a box"?
Group: Watches with pity while I giggle uncontrollably at my own joke.
Jeff: Niki, you're turning really red.
Laura: You're so juvenile. Get to work!

So ... there you have it. Dance. Tape it. Post it. Wait to hear if you've got what it takes. Details -- and a name -- to come. And please hurry. If Laura has some funny videos to watch, perhaps she'll forget my daily caning.

The Writer's Almanac says it's Nelson Algren's birthday. The Detroit-born writer "drifted around during the Great Depression, hopping freight trains." But we don't care about that.

The fun part is that he ended up in Chicago and dubbed it "The City on the Make." Now this, I like!

He said: "Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose."

So, in continuing this conversation at Exit 133, let's work this out.

Tacoma is "The City >>>."
Fine print: The first person to say "on the mend" gets a free slap in the face. From Cole. He's just not in the mood for that.

Second challenge: "Loving Tacoma is like ..."

I'm thinking of my responses. In the meantime, it's your turn.

I apologize for the constant Sanjaya Malakar updates to those of you who aren't watching American Idol, but this kid is a train wreck and I can't get enough.

Also, according to a photo floating around the Internet, Sanjaya's sister -- who was an American Idol contestant earlier in the year -- used to be a Tacoma Hooter's waitress. Any Hooter's regulars in the house?

Consider this your personal invitation to attend tonight's 100th Monkey party. You don't have to be an artist, you don't have to be a musician and you don't have to wear a monkey suit – unless you want to.

Plus, it's free.

Where: Varsity Grill, on Broadway between South 11th and South 13th streets.
When: 8 to 10 tonight
Bring: Food or a bottle of something to share

This is absolutely ridiculous. You have to see it.

"The Fountainhead" gave me an excuse for my selfish teenage behavior -- but that's not the only reason it's awesome. Some of you anti-collaboration artists might like Ayn Rand's book because Howard Roark, the "master architect" and lead character, blows up a building he designed because it wasn't built exactly to his specs. No open-source b.s. here!

In a turn of life imitating art, Ayn Rand threw a huge fit when the director of the film adaptation tried to tighten up a few lines in Roark's final speech. She won, which is why -- if you go to the Blue Mouse Theatre on Thursday, April 19 to see the film, starring Gary Cooper -- you can see one of the longest continuous speeches in movie history (6 minutes).

(That last part is according to the biggest open-source resource of them all, Wikipedia.)

Curiously, the film is being shown for the American Institute of Architect's 150th anniversary celebration. I take it as a warning.

A copper gong was stolen from a Federal Way yoga studio this week. Police are tying it to a "rash of metal thefts in the region."

Area police generally believe thieves are trading in stolen metal to buy drugs.

But I think they're barking up the wrong tree. Consider this: The Stranger's associate editor David Schmader is hosting their first ever Stranger Gong Show next month. Coincidence? You be the judge.

While running in Point Defiance Park yesterday -- despite only being there for a grand total of, say, a half hour -- we managed to get heckled not once, but twice.

One all-I-want-for-Christmas-(for the eighth year running)-is-for-Delta-Tau-Delta-to-finally-rush-me drunkard stuck his head out of the car to jeer us on. Awesome. Another spit at us while we rested on the side of the road and, when he was flipped off, threatened to "beat (our) b(@#$ a$&es."

I was really perplexed until I read this, on BoingBoing: Scientists have created a sheep that's 15% human. My personal theory is that they tried pigs and gorrillas first, but didn't get the mix just right so they turned them loose in PDP.

Signing off from my own personal version of I, (not exactly) Anonymous,
A Disgruntled Runner

How do you know when you've officially made an imprint on pop culture? When Saturday Night Live mocks you mercilessly.

Such is the case with Federal Way's Sanjaya Malakar. Any Google search for the American Idol contestant will bring up countless cries of "How is he still on the show!?" There's even a woman who has gone on hunger strike until Sanjaya is booted.

But there's no denying this kid's got fans or he wouldn't still be on the show. I mean, just check out this surprisingly thorough Wikipedia page.

Anyway, you may have heard about Sanjaya's performance last Tuesday in which he made a young girl in the audience cry (tears of joy, it would seem).

Just moments ago, SNL's Andy Samberg recreated the moment during the final minutes of Weekend Update. While it's far too early for a YouTube video of that, here's the original performance, complete with surreal crying shots (skip about a minute twenty in to get past the boring intro).

As a side note, I dig Sanjaya's jacket.

Bothell's Blake Lewis is also a crowd favorite and we're down to the top ten.

After reading M. Alexander Otto's sad story about local pets who have died or suffered life-threatening damage due to tainted pet food, it occurred to me not everyone may be following this story.

So, in the interest of spreading the word, pay attention pet owners:

I've heard rumors that some stores haven't pulled the affected food from their shelves, so arm yourself and your sweet little pet with this list of affected brands.

Update: A correction will run in tomorrow's paper about a couple of details in this story. "The Associated Press, relying on information from the Food and Drug Administration, reported erroneously that the recall had been expanded to all 95 brands of the “cuts and gravy”-style dog and cat food by Menu Foods, regardless of when they were produced. The company said Saturday that the recall still applies only to products packaged from Dec. 3 to March 6. Retailers were advised Friday to remove all of the products from their shelves in order to verify the dates they were packaged, but products not made between those dates can still be sold.

</End public service announcement>

Last weekend's bulls have been replaced by boats in the Tacoma Dome (Slogan: "It's like the Pantheon, but with neon"), but that doesn't mean we can't dream up the next X-game that will turn the arena into a giant mud pit – on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

Here are a few I came up with – feel free to offer your own.

Soccer + Hockey = Fun for the whole family
Bring back the old Tacoma Stars and the defunct Tacoma Sabercats, then combine them in one new and exciting sport. The unified team would field three soccer players and three hockey players in an ice rink checkered with patches of grass. The sport is called Sockey. It is played with a bowling ball.

Bloodmobile demolition derby
It's slightly more entertaining than letting any extra plasma go to waste down a drain and into the bay.

Monster trucks vs. rodeo bulls tug o' war
To make this sport fair, the truck driver also must wear a flank strap that binds his scrotum. Giddy up!

Some Tacomen use the business end of their pencils better than others. That's why the Gritizen of the Week is ...

R.R. Anderson, for being Tacoma Washington's Best & Only Cartoon Artist (cartoonist) for Hire – in his own words. But we agree.

His Tacomic seems to get better every week, especially the current edition, with his attention to detail in the garbage surrounding the former Elks Lodge: syringes, a used condom (or at least worn), a crown, a can, and a styrofoam teriyaki container. That kind of sums up parts of Tacoma. Not to mention the abused elk with one stolen leg propped up on a concrete block, chained to our innocent city.

He explains his thoughts best in what it's like being an underground cartoonist.

Congratulations to R.R. Anderson for being Gritizen of the Week.

Runner up this week is the helpless fetus along for the ride inside that pregnant drunken driver who crashed into a tavern in East Tacoma, according to police. Second runner up is the Tacoma dude accused of claiming to live on the Gulf Coast to collect Hurricane Katrina money. Clever, but not as clever as R.R. Anderson.

The Gritizen of the Week is meant to highlight the people who embody the salty, indomitable spirit of Tacoma. To nominate the next Gritizen of the Week, e-mail cole.cosgrove@thenewstribune.com.

It's hard to think of a good reason why so many drunks would get nabbed driving away from a specific tavern. Maybe the bar just attracts a higher percentage of dumb people?

If you're a taxi driver, you might want to rent a bus and camp outside the following establishments that made the State Patrol's Top 10 DUI list:

1. Wayne's Inn, Puyallup
2. Lady Luck's Cowgirl Up, Spanaway
3. Emerald Queen Casino, Fife
4. O'Henry's, Puyallup
5. 21 Commerce, Tacoma
6. Maggie O'Toole's, Lakewood
7. Fabulous Firwood, Puyallup
8. The Schooner, Lakewood
9. Sharky's Pub, Sumner
10. New Peking Restaurant, Bonney Lake

Update: There's more conversation about the topic over at Ed's Diner.

Exit 133 reports that there will be a new cupcake shop downtown.

Am I dreaming? Even better, it will be right next to South Sound Running ... I don't know why that's even better, but it is.

!!!

While picking up cupcakes at Corina for a friend's birthday today, I spied a black-and-white publication called TIOS (The Industry of Sound) Tacoma. The cover had a dirty blonde woman (her hair was dirty blonde, I'm not sure about her) straddling a motorcycle and some promos for articles inside.

In the first edition's Letter from the Editor, R. Boothe writes:

Over the summer of 2006, Punk Rock Baseball was formed and brought many people out of the woodwork who normally wouldn't be caught socializing with strangers on a sunny day in the park. A simple idea broke open over some beers with a friend that led to a positive change in the community. It gave us hope, something to look forward to at the end of a crummy week spent at a job you hate...
But this isn't about PRB.
This is about a city I was born in, a city I live in, and a city I'll most likely die in. ...
This mag is for the kid who sits outside the bar to hear the music play ... this is for you, for me, for our community.

Sweet. I'm not sure when the next issue is coming out, where you can find it, or who makes it. I do know, however, that the dirty blonde featured on the cover, centerfold and page 12 is Tonya, a 31 year old mom from Puyallup. What's she doing, besides giving the camera kind of sneaky half-smiles (never trust someone whose teeth you can't see when they smile) (sorry, Tonya)? Why, she's the "Local Hottie of the Month."

There's some grit you just shouldn't clean. While Tacoma enjoys an artistic and economic renaissance, some residents lament the loss of identity. Poet David Fewster and singer/songwriter Heidi Fosner express a highly personal vision of the recent past, current present, and not-too-distant future of the city Neko Case calls "a dusty jewel" in their show, "Ballad of the New Tacoma". They join us with a different view of the gritty city of Destiny.

– From The Beat on KUOW.org

They'll be interviewed on KUOW (94.9 FM) today at 2:20 p.m. You can download the audio here.

Related Event: "Ballad of the New Tacoma" will be performed March 24nd at 8 p.m. at Barefoot Studios in Tacoma.

You've seen the poster that exclaims You'll Like Tacoma! But have you heard the song?

It came up during the discussion about a new city slogan over at Exit133, so I dug through our vault of old posts to find it.

Here's the audio file.

You can also find the lyrics in my original post from last year.

Everybody, sing along!

Basic premise: You pay $10 and get intoxicated at The Harmon's beer tasting event next Thursday at 5 p.m.

But wait, there's more. Each and every one of your dollars benefits United Way, as part of their Project U, um, project.

Questions can be directed to events@project-u.org. But really, what more is there to know?

The bull riders have arrived in Tacoma, so to help celebrate our festival of San Patricio on Saturday I propose a running of the bulls through downtown.

The course could follow the light-rail line and finish in the Tacoma Dome. Not only would it be a good warmup for the Tacoma Marathon, but it would help clear the streets of any drug dealers or other undesirables.

And if for some reason people think this event sounds "too dangerous," an alternative would be to strap bull horns onto the LINK and let it chase us.

A third option would be to strap the horns directly on the undesirables.

We want to highlight the people who embody the salty, indomitable spirit of Tacoma, and so we proudly unveil the Gritizen of the Week. This week's winner is ...

La Sac on King 5

Protest videographer Joe La Sac, for giving us the most interesting theater in Tacoma since TAG took $100 from everyone then closed.

We don't necessarily support nor reject La Sac's claims that police violated his civil rights, but we just think it's hilarious he wouldn't show them how to turn off his camera.

We couldn't have made up a script like this:

La Sac: This is how I turn it off.
Officer: How?
La Sac: Like this.
Officer: Right here? Where? Tell me where we turn it off?
La Sac: That's how I turn it off.
Officer: Where? Power?

(video image gets brighter)

Officer: You don't seem to understand there pal.
La Sac: There's a power switch.
Officer: You better show me before it gets broken.

And speaking of protests, does anybody else believe my theory that the droning, off-key repetitiveness of "All we are saying, is give peace a chance" actually sparks more violence than it prevents, if only to stop the awful singing?

Exhibit A. It's hard to have a voice when you're coughing up pepper spray.

Congratulations to Joe La Sac for being the first Gritizen of the Week.

To nominate the next Gritizen of the Week, e-mail cole.cosgrove@thenewstribune.com.

I always wondered where Hawaiians vacation. After all, they live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Then again, all of us know that, which means Hawaiians are plagued by the many gifts of tourism: High prices, overcrowded streets and bad, bad shirts.

Turns out, they vacation here. Or at least they should, according to this article from yesterday's Honolulu Star Bulletin Travel section. Apparently the writer liked it here because some of her descriptions were so enthusiastic and thesaurusified it almost made me blush.

One of my favorite quotes: "Despite a recent windstorm, we headed out to Point Defiance Park which, contrary to its name, never actually housed military operations."

Wha?

The writer goes on to recommend all seafood restaurants. I would've thought Hawaii -- surrounded by ocean -- was the place to get your fish fix.

A South Sounder had a similar experience with locals radical for Tacoma, which you can read about here. Which brings me to my question: Which one of our dear Hawaiian readers wants to swap houses? Call me.

From 6 to 9 tonight, the Rebecca V Gallery will celebrate its grand opening with free wine and appetizers.

The gallery, at 3010 Sixth Ave., shares a doorway with the new site of Pairings wine bar, which will provide the food and drink.

Back in July I was told a restaurant group was interested in the space. It's funny how things change – and how slow the process takes.

Lui Kit Wong/The News Tribune

Tomorrow, Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium's polar bears should be back frolicking in their usual habitat following repairs to cracks in the pool. (You'll be able to read about it in tomorrow's South Sound section, or try the zoo's Web site.)

Or, given the forecast for warmish drizzle and wind, maybe they'll be slurping hot tea on the deck.

Eh, global warming. Better get used to it.

You can now find GritCity blog posts linked on FeedTacoma.com, along with several other Tacoma-related sites. Props to Kevin Freitas.

Serendipity struck this afternoon on my drive to work.

The sun was out (thanks, Laura).

My coffee-induced heart palpitations hiccuped deliciously.

And there, at the intersection of South Ninth Street and Sprague Avenue, was Solar Richard himself – or at least his car and someone in it – soaking up the rays.

Good thing I had my camera-phone ready. It's Gawker Stalker, Tacoma.

You can read more about Solar Richard in this old post by Niki.

But tell me, who else ought to qualify as a Tacoma Regular?

Teddy Haggarty of course is my first answer. I've got a couple of sketches of his (of me) around here somewhere.

What other candidates?

And if you want info on Solar Richard's possible next solar-powered party – his shindig at the summer solstice promised "solar concentrating photovoltaics with the highest efficiency (37%) in the world!" – he's at solarrichard@aol.com.

Thanks for playing.

OK, so it's 60 and sunny. That doesn't mean we can't talk sweaters. I wrote a coupla weeks back about a Seattle newspaper columnist comparing our gritty city to an itchy sweater.

Emily of Varsity Grill had these fine holiday examples to share. "We are proud to party in our sweaters in Tacoma!" she writes.

You send 'em. I'll post 'em. Cardigans accepted too.

Thank you for coming out to play today. I see in your schedule that you are planning to go on extended vacation for at least a week and a half. What can I do to convince you to stay? And, if you must go, can you please give me hints on how to keep myself from going insane?

Everything sucks without you.

Love always,
LG

Update: It seems I have sweet-talked Sun into sticking around another day. Y'all owe me big time.

Producer Hallie Shepherd and director Eric Colley, both of Tacoma, will be releasing their movie “GPS” in theaters around the state this summer, with hopes of expanding showings to screens across the country.

“There are a lot of stunts in it for an indie movie,” Shepherd said. “There is an ATV crash off a bridge into a river, and we had a stunt involving a high fall from a 40 foot waterfall.”

Any other Tacoma-made films coming soon to a theater near you (or me)?

=> Read more!

Quick! Turn on the TV! From 7 to 7:30 tonight on A&E (channel 50 on Click!), the Sell This House! program focuses on Tacoma.

"A three-bedroom house with a sunroom in Washington State is prepared for sale."

It's a rerun from 2006, but it's always fun to see how the nation sees us.

7:04 update: Patio furniture in the dining room. Check.

7:06 update: Crazy talking parrot. Check.

7:08 update: Quote from potential buyer: “Is it a bomb shelter? Who needs this many canned goods?"

7:14 update: Shower curtains as front window drapes. Check.

Post show analysis: The house turned out decent and Tacoma looked good: The Link made an appearance, the bay is always great for cameras, and host Tanya Memme called us "Beautiful Tacoma, Washington." I'll take it!

25 kilos of heroin in Tacoma?

Am I a total idiot? I know our fair city has some shady parts but ... $2 million of heroin shady?

Eeew.

Last weekend, while tooling around downtown trolling for a parking spot near the Tacoma School of the Arts Theater to go see MOVE!, I experienced a small brain embolism. Figuratively.

There. Was. No. Where. To. Park.

In downtown Tacoma.

Not on Commerce, nor St. Helens, nor Fawcett, nor Pacific.

(I know, right?)

I tell my Seattle friends and acquaintances that "At least there's somewhere to park" is our unofficial city motto. Sometimes it feels like trying to get folks in New York City to come to Jersey. OK, bad analogy.

But after grumbling that Saturday eve, I felt a bit proud. Our scrappy city was packing 'em in.

Let's do it again this weekend, shall we? So tell me, who's doing what and where?

This isn't Tacoma, but lookit all the parked cars!

So my quest to be in the elite group of Tacoma bloggers to complete the Tacoma City Marathon is hanging in peril.

Turns out, long distance running + vegetarianism = anemia for moi. (Which, by the way, is the reason I was crying during last week's run. It feels like when you get to the end of a milkshake and you're sucking air through the straw -- for 4 hours.)

So last night, I cracked and decided running is more important than cute, furry cows - for now. Problem was, I didn't have an idea where to go for a good piece o' meat. I drove around for a while, contemplated driving to Olympia for one of McMenamin's stuffed burgers (yummmmmy), but eventually went to Red Robin.

So, ladies and gentlemen. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one day to live and one request for take out, where would you go? I need a lot of suggestions: I'll be eating beef every day until I'm setting off metal detectors.

So, two weeks ago, the anonymous folks at Monkeyshines hid glass balls all over Tacoma. I posted about it here.

Anywho, since then, a few of you have e-mailed me pictures of your balls. And, well, we need to talk.

Turns out there was more than one group distributing globes around town. Rumor has it, the non-Monkeyshines balls might be coming from the Oregon Coast.

But there's only one way to get to the bottom of this: I'm going to need to see 'em. E-mail me or post a picture here. Time is of the essence, folks.