Hi friends.

We've been whinging** about these dang t-shirts for ages now, so let's get together Friday night and do something about it.

That's where you come in.

I know you have lives and babies and puppies to care for. So I say you all tell us what you'd prefer:

Option A: Bar night at Top of Tacoma this Friday. Cheap martinis and a good jukebox.
Option B: Coffee evening at one of our fine local establishments (TBA). Bring the fam.
Option C: Some combination thereof? A minibottle of Bailey's for your latte? Whatev.

We have about two handfuls of t-shirts to give away to the first folks who come Friday, and we're launching an online store so you can buy extras for your babies and your puppies.

So what say you, Tacoma? The lines are open.

** That's British for "whining." You can tell by the "g."

Here's an open letter to the bumbling crook who failed in his attempt to steal my car:

Dear Kind Sir (if you can read),

I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and my car. I hope you didn't get all upset inside. I'm not surprised that my car opened up like that for you, and you were able to gain entry on your first date, but it's really a letdown that you weren't capable of hanging in there long enough to seal the deal. Your significant other told me that's a problem for you.

Since we're talking, I also want to thank you for leaving behind a half-filled can of Tilt malt liquor energy drink. Anybody who can derive energy from malt liquor has my utmost respect.

Don't worry – I'm not going to give your fingerprints and your DNA to the police. Instead I'm going to keep it until it's scientifically and financially feasible to clone you. At that time, I'll lock you in my basement and force you to learn how to repair car windows, all while keeping you on a strict diet of Tilt malt liquor.

Until then, I'll keep my car unlocked so you can get some hot-wiring practice without shattering glass all over the street.

Hope to see you again soon,
Cole