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Cole Cosgrove Cole Cosgrove
... was here. You can reach him at cole.cosgrove@thenewstribune.com.

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Kelly Davenport Kelly Davenport
My life in T-shirts: Ask Me About My Cat - Legalize Frostitution - Death Before Decaf. You get the idea. I enjoy lint-rolling, bons mots, magazine launch parties (if I was invited), paying too much for groceries, and the occasional semicolon. I'm a copy editor at The News Tribune, but I won't correct your grammar at the bar. Contact me at kelly.davenport@thenewstribune.com.

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Laura Gentry Laura Gentry
...lives in Seattle (so you don’t have to) with her cat Peanut Zeta-Jones. The self-proclaimed “Webmeister” of TheNewsTribune.com, Laura spends her spare time driving on I-5, sifting through estate sales, writing songs about Miss Zeta-Jones and wishing she was somewhere else regardless of where she is. You can reach her at laura.gentry@thenewstribune.com, but it’s in your best interest not to.

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Niki Sullivan Niki Sullivan
...is a political reporter for The News Tribune. She likes sunshine, soup and puppies. Beyond that, it gets dicey. Contact Niki at niki.sullivan@thenewstribune.com.

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Brian Everstine Brian Everstine
...has a debilitating fear of children, horses, sauerkraut and mustaches, but an irrational affection for generic cereal. A recent college graduate (WSU) from Spokane, he is a news reporter for The News Tribune who is still adjusting to life on this side of the mountains. Contact Brian at brian.everstine@thenewstribune.com.

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You'll like Tacoma
Friday, May 23rd, 2008
Posted by Laura Gentry @ 01:10:34 pm

The UK's Daily Telegraph recently published a profile on Washington State resident Edward Smith, 57, who engages in what is known as "mechaphilia" -- or, sexual attraction to machines. Smith's machine of choice is the motor vehicle and admits to having sex with at least 1,000 of them since he was 15.

The winning quote of the article: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

The article doesn't say where specifically in Washington Smith lives. Any guesses?

Categories: Commuting, Feelin' crafty 12 comments

COMMENTS:

torinaga @ 13:55 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
Lynwood?
kalvyn @ 15:24 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
Emumclaw, of course!
kalvyn @ 15:26 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
ENUMCLAW. Dude, I can't spell.
willyinda253 @ 15:39 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
Yeah, right next door to equine copulation, up the road from the serial groaping.

As Gob from Arrested Development would say, "Come On!"
derekyoung @ 15:49 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
In fairness to the great city of Enumclaw, they just provides the facilities... the patrons are Emerald City residents.
Laura Gentry @ 15:56 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
See, I was thinking Magnolia.
reformedliberal @ 19:06 - Friday, May 23rd, 2008 Email
Remember the result last time something like this happened? (Yes, in Enumclaw.)

Look for a new law against this sort of thing. We must protect these poor, innocent machines!
strryeyedgrrl @ 12:10 - Saturday, May 24th, 2008 Email
While I'm inclined to say Enumclaw, what with its equine loving and overall backwoods feel, something like this seems best suited for somewhere like Roy, Elma, or even a larger redneck town like Kent. Maybe Auburn, if we're talking about that part of Auburn that's over by the train tracks and the river, like the house with the chickens and llamas out front.
trustsatan @ 11:23 - Sunday, May 25th, 2008 Email
Kirkland, of course! I've seen more quarter-million dollar cars up there than anywhere else I've ever been in my life - there is an obvious automotive sexual fetishism rampant in the land of senior executives (remember, I'm sure most of the actual sex going on in Kirkland is thanks to the efforts of local pharmacists.)

Our friend Edward appears to prefer compacts, as opposed to their high-maintenance European counterparts, so I'm not sure if he fits the profile I'm thinking of.
NihilistForHire @ 21:47 - Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 Email
I'm gonna have to go with Kent. Or, actually, maybe Spanaway. Yeah, Spanaway, definitely.

I wanna know how he sealed the deal with the whirly bird from Airwolf. (That WAS a pretty awesome show when I was a kid.) Did he court her appropriately? Or, was it more of a one night stand? How does a machine playa spit game to a chopper? I mean, you can't really pull out the big guns like going on a helicopter ride, right? In any case, I hope he used protection.
goddesslunacy @ 01:32 - Thursday, May 29th, 2008 Email
I'm guessing he lives near the LeMay Car Collection...
John Henrikson @ 14:18 - Friday, June 6th, 2008 Email
Just remembered why this rang a bell. Life imitates "Kids in the Hall."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zu0vAMkpag

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