It is true, GritCity has a new contributor, and it is me, the intern.

I guess it is a dream come true of sorts. Long ago, I added the GritCity page on my Facebook. Once I found out about getting the internship here, I longed to have my neck included in the collective strangling that made the Grit posters seem so cool.

I am from Spokane, and never had that much contact with Tacoma. All I really knew was related to a fantastic falafel wrap I had at a local Greek restaurant a few years back and the Junior Assembly (I think that is what it was called) dance I randomly went to in high school.

Yep, Mediterranean food and awkward high schoolers, that was my impression of Tacoma.

But now I am in a crew of new TNT interns, with little knowledge of the city and a few hours of free time a week. So, I was hoping everyone could do me a favor. Tell me what the interns and I should do. What can we do to experience the real Tacoma – and not just Chihuly and meth. Let me know, I'll pick an idea and report back.

Also, the post title reminded me of this movie. Charlie Sheen + goatee + random West Wing actors = fantastic crap.

Now, there's no denying we work hard here at GritCity. It takes effort to not get paid to write only one post about every two weeks.

But luckily, The News Tribune has welcomed a crop of interns for the summer and one of them actually wants to play with us.

Brian Everstine, who hails from that city on the other side of the mountains that rhymes with sugar cane, will be joining us for the next couple months.

We've already composed a list of duties for the little scamp. He says he'd be willing to do some of them, but won't say which ones. Ooh, the kid's got moxie.

So be nice to Brian when you see him around town. He's the one who dresses better than any of us.

Now, for the list.

Laura:
• Teach me how to play the guitar. If he doesn’t know how, he should learn how to play and then teach me.
• Siphon gas from other News Tribune employees so I don’t go broke driving back and forth from Seattle.
• Write some songs for my other cat, Tim. He’s feeling left out.
• Go and swipe my gym membership card across the gym scanner on days when I don’t feel like working out so it doesn’t look like I’m too lazy in their database.

Cole:
• Attend the Friday chalk contests for us. And win.
• Write three posts a day, under our names instead of his.
• Go play bocce for us. And win. And say his name is Cole.
• Be funny. And if he’s not, then, well, he can post under his own name.

Niki:
• Correspond with my mother via e-mail, telephone and, when necessary, in person – all while pretending he’s me.
• Recruit, screen and train suitors.
• Bring me a five-course hot lunch everyday in one of those cylindrical tin contraptions they use in India. (Poultry need not apply.)

Kelly:
• Peel my grapes. (I've never actually had peeled grapes, but I intend to start.)
• Vacuum my cat.
• Maintain the GritCity Facebook page and grow it’s membership by 1 million.
• Bring Laura fresh flowers on Mondays when she’s cranky.
• Baby-sit the Grit Baby and learn the real magic behind Cole’s Diaper Genie.

Here's Brian. You can tell he'll be up for the job.

This clip of a ballgirl's amazing catch has been spreading around the world this week ...

Unfortunately, it's fake.

Even worse for Tacoma batter Brent Johnson: He's since been demoted to the Double-A West Tenn Diamond Jaxx.