I would like to please direct your attention to one of our morning updates:

Olympia mailman wants kilts added to uniform

Any kilt wearers in the house want to speak to this?

Thank you all for your help finding a good kite-flying spot.

Vassault Park and its grassy knoll have proved perfecto.

I can even get in some prime swinging at the playground after the kite sesh.

Happy cell phone pic. Yay summer.

Every once in a while, I like to do something really wild and crazy like forget to pay a parking ticket. Did I say forget? I probably meant willfully ignore.

Well, gentle reader, no more. I have been suitably chastened. The sight of a city meter maid/man-maid in orange vest and sensible walking shorts is enough to make me circle the block until I find a legit spot. No more toying with fate and 15-minute zones.

That's because I spent two-and-a-half hours on my day off getting my vehicle tabs renewed, all due to an old parking ticket. Allow me to share. Did I say share? I probably meant whine uncontrollably.

10 a.m. Wake up. Eat huge triple berry muffin from Corina Bakery. Feel like the world is on my side. Listen to Sera Cahoone. Hum all the way to Fife.

10:20. Emissions testing! How quaint! I pay 15 dollars for a woman to put a sensor somewhere in my vehicle for approximately 30 seconds. I am still eating the muffin, so it's all fine.

10:40. Creep down Tacoma Avenue trying to decipher the signage outside the County-City Building. There appear to be many courts in one building. But will anyone inside take my money for my parking ticket? Circle the block three times to find a safe spot. Walk. Sweat.

11:02. Ask security guard/metal detector attendant if I can pay my ticket inside. Smile. Place purse in X-ray machine. Set off detector with my metal-buckled boots. Apologize. Smile.

=> Read more!

He's done it in practice.

Tacoma's Mark Kirsch, owner of World Strongman Entertainment, is going to try to pull a Boeing 767 at least 100 feet this Saturday at Boeing Field. The event is a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound, and it coincides with the 80th anniversary celebration for King County International Airport.

Originally, Kirsch just wanted to pull a measly little 737, but he had to go up a few numbers to the 767 because that was the only plane available to him.

"I couldn't believe it," Kirsch said of his first close-up with the object he expects to tow (on foot, by the way, in case that wasn't clear earlier). "When I first saw it, I said 'no way.'"

But in practice last week, on July 15, he towed the enormous 202,000-pound plane the target distance. Saturday, he'll be working against a slight slope, but he said he thinks he can do it.

"The secret is making everything fire at one moment to apply all the thrust at once," Kirsch said. "Then you just have to keep it moving."

Kirsch, a Wilson grad, class of 1998, said it takes about six years to train and condition one's body for this type of stunt. To simulate pulling an enormous object, he straps on a harness that is roped to a rack bolted to the ground. Then he tries to pull the rack out of the ground. It's an impossible task, but it works the right muscles, he said.

Saturday's celebration starts at 10 a.m., and the plane pull should take place around 11 a.m. In the meantime, here are a few photos from last week's practice session:

Here's the rest of the Ralph Porter audio:

Ralph Porter audio, part 2

Ralph Porter, longtime host of the Ha-Ha Tuesdays comedy night over at Jazzbones, is moving up in the world.

Ralph recently sent me an e-mail letting me know he was headed to Los Angeles for some high-profile tapings, appearances on BET's "Comic View" and HBO's "Def Comedy Jam."

I talked to Ralph on the phone Monday. I'll let him explain:

Ralph Porter audio, part 1

Ralph is back from his "Comic View" taping and awaiting his September "Def Comedy Jam" taping. In the meantime, he'll host Ha Ha Tuesdays as well as his Friday night gig in Seattle. (Listen to the audio!) Also, the "Jeremy" we talk about is Jeremy Wood, another comic I'm planning to write about. Ralph is hosting a benefit for Jeremy this Wednesday night at Jazzbones. See you there.

Ralph Porter, host of Ha Ha Tuesdays at Jazzbones, keeps the crowd laughing during breaks between acts. (Drew Perine/The News Tribune)

Hi.

I'm Bill.

But enough about me.

I just got word from John Munn, owner of Comic Book Ink over on Tacoma's East Side, that his store has received its fourth Eisner nomination. For you non-comic-book geeks, the Eisners are the comic-book world's Oscar equivalent. It's a big deal.

John is headed to the San Diego Comic-Con – that's the big one, the show Hollywood descends upon every year for "new" movie ideas. In a ceremony this Friday, John will find out if his store wins the Will Eisner Spirit of Retailing award. His is one of about two dozen stores nominated for the award, from more than 4,000 comic book stores around the world.

"It's just mind numbing to be nominated a fourth time," John said on the phone today.

But there's another bit of news in all of this. John says he's planning to open a second Comic Book Ink store. He won't divulge the location, but Comic Book Ink – Volume 2 should open in October 2009 but no later than May of 2010. John, an October baby, said he'd like to follow in George Lucas' tradition of opening in his birthday month. Comic Book Ink opened Oct. 22, 2002. But May holds Free Comic Book day, so that might work for a grand opening, too, he said.

"It'll be a smaller store, a satellite store," John said. "I've always dreamed of having two stores, and possibly a third down the road, so this is the next phase of all that."

So a B-2 stealth bomber just flew over my house. No doubt part of the air show at McChord this weekend.

Unless, of course, it's working for Google maps.

Tomorrow I get the pleasure of hosting my parents, brother and his family. Naturally, being a n00b (as kalvyn so 1337-ly put it) I am at a loss of what to do. It is a daunting task because 1. I need to entertain my parents, two 30-somethings (happy birthday Angie) and two little ones for a day. 2. (Much more importantly) They are visiting my sister in Seattle as well, so I need to show them that Tacoma is far superior.

Right now, my ideas are going to Point Defiance Zoo (for the little ones) and maybe Frisko Freeze. Fun.

I am not really interested in suggestions. I am a big boy, and I can figure it out.

For those who moved here, do you remember your first parent/family visit to T-town? What did you do? What was their impression?

I have found my version of hell, and it is the intersection of Sixth and Sprague. I have lost most of my youth waiting to turn left onto Sprague at this demonic location. Alas, I must go there every day. The light always taunts me as I approach. This brilliant green arrow is my Tacoman dream, a wish that I may have a short, pleasant drive to the office. But whenever I ease my sweet '95 Escort into the turning lane, with the blinker confidently flashing, it shuts me down and I am stuck in the mocking gaze of the red light.

Oh well, it beats commuting on I-5.

Clean up your yard and put away the recycle bins. It appears that Google is filming the streets of Tacoma this week to add to its Street View interactive map feature.

Portland and Spokane have already been captured, so now it looks like it's our turn in front of Google's 360° panoramic car-mounted cameras.

Saturday morning about 8 a.m., driving on Union at South 19th Street, I spotted a car that looked a lot like the one at right. (Flickr user jimery took this picture in Seattle last week).

I e-mailed a few questions to Google, so I'll let you know if I hear back. Until then, don't do anything too creepy in your front yard.

In summer, I'm prone to nostalgia. I've written about it before.

Lately, I'm all about Frisbees in the park and the flying of kites. That City Up North is blessed with a stupendous kite hill, and that's where I spent Saturday, working on my sunburn and breaking for a scoop of balsamic strawberry ice cream for sustenance.

Bliss, no?

So that's where you guys come in. Help me recreate this experience closer to home. Tell me the hills with the best visibility, the best wind velocity, the ones with a precise combination of warm breeze and clover to send me back to my childhood. If you're extra nice, I'll let you hold the kite string during my ice cream break.

I wrote a feature for Sunday's You&Me section (read it here) about a B&I shop owner who collected quarters from customers and she is now donating the money to Mary Bridge. The update is the shop's owner, Yong Fitchett, scheduled the party for kids for Saturday July 26 and was able to also get some money donated from Rex Pegg Fabrics and Parkland Chevrolet.

But also, I somehow had never heard of B&I. I now know how it is a local landmark, but I asked for places that told me about this area and this shop has more culture than anywhere I have been during my short weeks in Tacoma. The combination flea market/shopping mall/circus made my dreams come true and also gave me a couple nightmares to replace them.

If only the gorilla was still there.

And finally, I am very sorry, I have neglected GritCity. Please forgive me.

An alert reader spotted this nugget in the July 2 edition of Cascadia Weekly ("serving Whatcom, Skagit and Island Counties and lower B.C.").

Border Disorders
On June 22, a cab driver from Tacoma celebrated his fare after he dropped the customer off at Peace Portal near the international boundary by urinating over a fence in plain view. Blaine officers raced to the scene, but "the excreting cretin exited the community before police arrived … it's hoped the cabbie was returning (to Tacoma) post haste"

In fairness, that is a long car ride.

Hey remember when I posted that sexy photo of Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto in her competition swimsuit? Turns out I could have posted a few more provocative pics had I only known...

The Miss Washington Scholarship Organization has called a news conference for 3 p.m. in Tacoma to respond to photos posted on the Internet.

They show Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto in some embarrassing poses. She was to make a statement at Wednesday’s news conference.

We don't have the pictures on our site and we're not currently linking to them for some reason, but *cough cough* TMZ.COM *cough cough*. Voila, the photos. I don't know about y'all, but this is a typical weekend for me.

My favorite? Playing beer pong while wearing her crown. My kinda girl!

KUPS is, lately.

This afternoon I heard some Dylan, some anti-war punk rock song, some hot French number that may or may not have been Pink Martini, and a bunch of other tunes I wish I knew the names of.

It's a good thing, because I've been in a real music rut. If I hadn't stumbled on the magic that is the new Okay album (singer-songwriter Marty Anderson played T-town last year), I'd be screwed.

But I still need your help. What are you listening to in the car in the summer with the windows rolled down?

It's that time of year when everyone and his mother is telling you to be safe for the Fourth of July.

So in the tradition of obvious and condescending advice on how to stay alive during routine summer activities, we present GritCity's Lucky 13 Summer Safety Tips:

1. Wear a life jacket, unless you want to die.

2. Don’t ignite fireworks in your hand or in your boat or in your pet.

3. Don’t run with scissors in your boat.

4. Wear sunscreen, unless you have a death wish, like that guy over there who isn't wearing his life jacket.

5. Strap your child to the mizzenmast for his/her safety. Don’t forget the water wings.

6. Use a hands-free headset when talking on your cell phone while boating. That way you can still hold your drink.

7. Don’t go boating within an hour after eating.

8. Don't open attachments from unknown senders on your boat.

9. Don’t carry your Social Security card while boating, in case you encounter a flotilla of identity thieves.

10. Look both ways before crossing another waterway in your boat.

11. Keep the cooler stocked with enough beer to last for two weeks in case of stranding. If you don’t get stranded, even better.

12. Don’t talk to strangers while boating, unless you’re on a hands-free headset.

13. If you go out boating and forget something that’s locked up in your hot car, make sure it’s not your dog or your kid or your drinks.

100 years ago today: July 2, 1908
The W.W. Seymour conservatory in Wright Park was completed on time, and the keys to the building were turned over to the Metropolitan Park Board.

Frank C. Ross and Anna Robinson at the conservatory at Wright Park, circa 1915. (Washington State Historical Society)

... are you really going to?

Reportedly hundreds of thousands of people are going to show up to Tall Ships. But, considering everyone who reads this blog is antisocial, what are your Tall Ships protest plans? If you are going to hide in your closet instead of seeing the ships, why you are planning on avoiding the event?

I get to spend a couple days, including the holiday, covering the crowds. So if you see a sweaty, sunburned intern around, give me pity. Or laugh in my face. Either way, I get recognized.