I covered the South Tacoma Business District Association's 12th Annual Classic Car Show Saturday, but I didn't get these pictures in time for the print edition.

I walked into this annual street fair right about the time the judges were starting to hand out awards. It was cool to see a Tacoma couple, Rick and Penny Olson, win two trophies, both the Ladies' Choice award and the Show Favorite award. Take a look at these shots, taken by judge Taanya Tucker, to see why they won.

There were about 300 cars at the show, all of them worthy of trophies. But this '37 Ford custom convertible caught the judges' attention – and mine:

I have found my version of hell, and it is the intersection of Sixth and Sprague. I have lost most of my youth waiting to turn left onto Sprague at this demonic location. Alas, I must go there every day. The light always taunts me as I approach. This brilliant green arrow is my Tacoman dream, a wish that I may have a short, pleasant drive to the office. But whenever I ease my sweet '95 Escort into the turning lane, with the blinker confidently flashing, it shuts me down and I am stuck in the mocking gaze of the red light.

Oh well, it beats commuting on I-5.

This sign made me inexplicably happy today. Or maybe the sun has finally gotten to my brain. Try a nachos.

The UK's Daily Telegraph recently published a profile on Washington State resident Edward Smith, 57, who engages in what is known as "mechaphilia" -- or, sexual attraction to machines. Smith's machine of choice is the motor vehicle and admits to having sex with at least 1,000 of them since he was 15.

The winning quote of the article: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

The article doesn't say where specifically in Washington Smith lives. Any guesses?

I don't know what kind of perverted magnetic forces are at work here, but it's taking a toll on our homes.

Personally, I blame errant GPS guidance systems.

I'm sensing a trend:

May 14: No one home, no one injured as police car backs into house

May 12: Car crashes through basement wall just after resident left the room

May 5: Woman flips car and crashes into house

February 28: Stolen gold Cadillac plows into duplex

Top two photos by News Tribune photographer Dean J. Koepfler. Last photo is a News Tribune file shot from 2004, when crashing into houses wasn't as trendy as it is now.

Commenter goddesslunacy says...

...I was on my way to work and it was then that I noticed a note had been slipped onto my windshield at some point last night or this morning. I wanted to reach out and grab it as I was traveling at high speed on the freeway, but I knew my arm was not long enough. Sadly it lost grip and slipped away to a gusty asphalt graveyard. Now I am left to wonder who the left the note and what did it say?

What do you think it said?

Perhaps this or this?

Also, what if it was a parking ticket? Can you be arrested for not paying a parking ticket that you never knew existed?

I was on the receiving end once of text messages sent by a loved one who consequently got in a car accident because of said text messages. You would think, then, that I would be smart enough to NOT text message while driving. Alas and alack, no.

Maybe this new law will wise me up?

From Joe Turner's story:

Sending an e-mail or a text message while you’re driving could cost you $124, starting Tuesday.

But you’ve got six more months before talking on a cell phone while driving – unless you have a hands-free device – will get you fined.

I'll let you know as soon as I'm $124 poorer for my bad decisions.

Oh great. We're reporting that the Murray Morgan Bridge might be closed soon.

Washington Secretary of Transportation Paula Hammond is speaking to the Tacoma City Council at this afternoon's study session. City sources say she's expected to announce that the state will close the 94-year-old Murray Morgan Bridge.

Bad for Murray, probably good for the value of this Beautiful Angle poster from 2003. Right now it's listed at 55 bucks.

Update: The unnamed city source was right: The bridge will be closed to protect something like "the safety of life," according to Hammond.

This morning on the way to work, I had to veer to avoid hitting someone who appeared to be texting her way to vehicular homicide. Was it one of those evil teenagers I keep hearing about on the TV? Nope. It was a sextagenarian.

Kevin thinks we should get off our cell phones while in line at the grocery store.

I'll take it a step further: If you wear bifocals, don't touch your cell phone while operating a motor vehicle. I'm sorry, Gentry, but that goes for the iPhone, too.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the AARP insurance board.

Here begins a sweet little note from the City of Tacoma:

"A new sign technology is hitting the streets of Tacoma – Vehicle Activated Traffic Calming Signs."

I envisioned mood lighting. But no.

"The high-tech signs are predominately black, but when a vehicle approaches at a speed higher than the posted speed limit, the sign comes to life in bright LED text. The text reflects the posted speed and flashes beacons, which instruct the driver to ‘slow down’."

Sounds startling, maybe dangerously so. But wait, there's more! They're watching!

"The Vehicle Activated Traffic Calming Signs also have the capability of recording traffic behavior, including speed, volume and average speed. ...The first 10 signs should be completely installed by the end of September. Initially, the signs are placed in stealth mode – visually turned off, but still recording vehicle data."

(Stealth mode? You can't make this stuff up!)

Sleep tight! Big Brother is watching!

You know those charming white car decals of Calvin peeing on various things? Driving into work today, I passed a truck with one of those. Calvin was peeing on an Airbus logo.

That is all.

To all of you smart, responsible, God-fearing people who have been paying Narrows bridge tolls this week: Surprise, you're wasting your money!

The law that sets a $49 fine for lack of payment doesn't go into effect until 12:01 a.m. Sunday. So until then, drivers can salute the toll collectors while motoring across the new span, all with a clean conscience and without the fear of being ticketed.

Kind of makes you feel stupid for waiting in line with your $3 bill flapping in the breeze, huh?

I have a Gig Harbor-dwelling friend who plans to cover his Good to Go! transponder with aluminum foil for his commute to Tacoma the rest of this week. I'll let you know how that works out.