I would like to please direct your attention to one of our morning updates:

Olympia mailman wants kilts added to uniform

Any kilt wearers in the house want to speak to this?

I was reading The New York Times Magazine and saw this story about Seattle-based Destee Nation that sells retro-looking T-shirts that feature small businesses – mostly neighborhood bars and restaurants. A cut of the sales goes to the business that was represented on the sold shirt. Everybody wins.

Now here's my entrepreneurial idea of the day: Somebody do this for Tacoma.

cwtv.com

Tyra Banks is so out-of-this-world ridiculous that it's impossible for me to not be hooked on America's Next Top Model. I can't help it. I love her antics and the absolutely insane "fashion shoots" they make the girls suffer through.

I've watched this train wreck since "Cycle 2" and we're now at "Cycle 10" and I hate myself for it. This cycle, however, my ANTM knowledge might pay off for the lot of us as we have a regional girl competing and she seems to be a strong contestant.

Her name is Aimee (there is no trace of a last name anywhere on the innerwebs), she's 18 and she's a "hostess" from Spanaway.

My second favorite moment so far this cycle was when Tyra realized there was an Aimee and an Amy on the show, so she forced Amy to change her name. She changed it to Amis (pronounced Amos).

I'm not making this up.

For the girls' first photo shoot, they were supposed to be high fashion bums. The judges' criticism of Aimee's shot was that she didn't look homeless enough. But she did look beautiful enough, so she's sailed on through the judging. This week is the infamous "makeover" week in which half of the girls lose all of their hair and cry about it. I can't wait!

Here's a 12-second sneak peek at Aimee. May she make Spanaway proud.

Then you'll want to check out the new Tacoma location for the drag show by Lupe Cervantes (aka Lupita "What's Love Got To Do With IT?" Cervantes, as Niki dubbed her), formerly of La Costa Mexican Restaurant, which was sold in June.

Lupita will be performing at the Rock (aka On The Rocks) on Fridays and Saturdays until a more permanent stage can be found.

I had a quick talk with Cervantes after hearing the show had found a new home.

Cole: "Describe your performance."
Cervantes: "You like to be entertaining to the people. People think I'm Tina Turner because I dress like her. You have to look like a woman, with the hair and makeup and nylons and the nails. Everything has to be perfect"
Cole: "It sounds like you look better than Tina Turner."
Cervantes: "I think so."

Lupita Cervantes at On The Rocks - 728 Pacific Ave.
Fridays: 9:30 p.m. show in English. 11:15 p.m. show in Spanish.
Saturdays: Both shows in Spanish.

Photo by Janet Jensen, fabulous drama by Lupita.

GritCity T-shirts (Limited quantity - about 10 or 15. Let's say 12.)
When: 7:30 tonight
Where: Top of Tacoma bar, 3529 McKinley Ave.

And if you can't make it, here's the magic link to buy one.

This is news from a couple of months ago, so not exactly timely on our part, but we've finally caught up with our back issues of People Magazine so bear with us.

Clearly, we would be remiss if we didn't revisit their "Sexy Man of the Week" featured during the final week of October '07. I bring you Mr. Penn Badgley who stars in The CW's Gossip Girl as "hipster hottie Dan Humphrey."

Penn is from Gig Harbor, 21-years-old, and single.

What does he do on first dates?

"A first date could be as simple as making dinner at my place. I rarely cook, but I would for a girl. The last thing I made was chicken teriyaki -- that's not very sexy."

His seduction secret?

"I'll say, 'I'm gonna take you home and play piano for you.' I don't do that for just anybody. I'm not the kind of guy who'll sit at a party and play Dave Matthews to get girls -- that's too cheesy. I'll write something original."

It doesn't sound like his secret is working if he's still single. I'm guessing it's something about the way he demands that you go home with him so he can "play piano for you." Either that or his original content is not as sexy as Dave Matthews' content.

Either way, I'll tell you what IS working: His tuxedo / long johns combo.

Let's zoom in...

So, what made him so sexy that week? Why is he no longer sexy now that the week is over? Here are my best guesses to explain his fall from grace:

• So many men, so few weeks.
• He doesn't think chicken teriyaki is sexy. IT IS.
• Long johns were SO October '07.
• He revealed his Gig Harbor connection.
• People Magazine editors accidentally caught an episode of Gossip Girl.

I've often looked out across the Narrows and thought, "hot damn, that's a gorgeous bridge, but it'd be so much better if softly lit by solar-powered, rainbow-colored LED lights."

So it was of great coincidence that, just now, my telephone rang. A gravelly voice told me to meet him at the Tacoma Art Museum tonight between 8 and 10 p.m.

"Bring white wine, maybe an appetizer," he said. "I'll tell you about my plan to light the Narrows bridge."

"Is this Solar Richard?"

"No. (pause) Well, yeah. It is."

I was a bit confused at how our date at the art museum might translate into a sweet new tiara for the bridge until he told me tonight is 100th Monkey, and he'll merely be there, spreading the good word about rainbow lights.

Why rainbow lights? I'll tell you when you're old enough to understand.

Too good to be wrong.

Come on, it's a fashion show for pups. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Seriously! Dogs wearing clothes. Pants and shirts that are probably more expensive than my own. Maybe even a little hat or a bandana or something – I don't know. What do stylish dogs wear these days?

What: Premiere Pet Fashion Show
Where: Bamford & Bamford Pottery, 3001 S. Huson St., Tacoma
When: Saturday; wine and appetizers at 6:30 p.m., show at 7:30 p.m.
Cost: $25 per ticket
Info: 253-576-7227
File photo by The Associated Press

In other odd dog news, co-worker Sue Kidd assures us there will be dog square dancing at this event.

Dog square dancing!? How do they understand all the intricate Country-Western moves?

Lookie what I found, with the help of Marketing Director Cathy Brewis:

I'd like to thank a most savvy reader and an equally savvy marketing director for this moment. And to Laura Gentry, who took this photo and instructed me to look "surly."

Turns out, then-Marketing Director Dinwiddie Fuhrmeister (note the updated spelling... again!) had these made. No one is sure how they were distributed, but we (we meaning Cathy) found this one in a dark corner of the basement, where Cathy had stowed it for archiving purposes.

A most savvy reader sent me a link to this gorgeous dress, for sale on eBay:

This photo borrowed from the eBay seller here.

Yes, that's a dress with old News Tribune front pages on it. It sold for $333 earlier this week to someone in Greece who goes by sxies66. For the record, their eBay feedback is excellent.

Is it too much to think that, in six to eight weeks when they receive the dress, Mr. or Ms. sxies66's stock will rise?

I think not.

These dresses are dated Sunday May 18, 1969. They were bought at an estate sale of a man that worked for the Tacoma News Tribune paper. I don’t know if you had to order them or if every paper had one in it that Sunday but my guess is there are not too many out there like this. They were made by Kimberly Clark, of paper towel fame. They are 97% cellulose and 7% nylon. Sadly they are not in perfect condition. The one on the right is in great shape in front with only a spot of yellowing by the under arm, it is not really noticeable unless you are looking for it.... The paper fabric is still sound and not brittle. They are size small and are 37 inches long and 22 inches across the hem.

In other words, perfect.

Don't let me hear you say there's nothing to do in town this weekend. Here's what Tacoma has in store for you:

1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the SOTA theater. Tonight and Saturday for 16 bucks. Call 253-777-4430 or visit The Horatio for details.

2. MLK Ballet will hold a recital (their first, I think) on Saturday at 2 p.m. at 1216 1/2 MLK Blvd., Tacoma I can't find ticket info, but it'll happen!

3. Urban Art Festival is on Sunday from noon until dusk at Fireman's Park. Bands, art, stuff for sale, fashion ... you name it.

Update: I'm a liar. Hedwig is this weekend at the Horatio. Go! Buy tickets! Now!

I'd like to think that GritCity had something to do with this, but it could just be her winning smile and snappy fashion sense: Brooke ...

...won the trip from Teen Vogue to work on a band photo shoot in L.A. In the fall, she'll head to a "fashion university weekend" in New York.

A MySpace bulletin from urbanXchange says they're encouraging Brooke to bring home some "hot fashion booty." Yes, please!