This audio slide show goes with a story that'll appear in tomorrow's News Tribune. Here's a sneak for Ed's Diner readers. Read tomorrow's story for a list of South Sound farms within easy driving distance.

Pick-Quick Drive In, as it appears in Roadway Trucking's 2008 Roadside Drive-In calendar.

Can you judge a restaurant by its sign? I'm talking about those cool old neon signs that adorn South Sound drive-ins and diners -- those paeons to neon and incandescent bulbs.

"I think you can judge if they've taken care of the sign and if there's a certain pride in the sign, you can see that in the business," said neon artist Galen Turner, who teaches neon 101 at The Evergreen State College in Olympia.

With that in mind, here are my judgments of vintage signs and their restaurants.

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A big bowl of greens, with tomatoes, onions and garlic.

When it comes to soul food, one color stands out: green. That's the color of the leafy vegetables -- collards and or mustards, usually -- that constitute a plate of greens.

Here are four places I've enjoyed greens in the South Sound (and the southern reaches of Seattle). Each version of the dish is slightly different. Two feature pork. One has beef. One has no meat at all. Unless noted, they're all available as side dishes.

Uncle Thurm's Finger-Licken Ribs and Chicken (3709 S G St., Tacoma; 253-475-1881)
Tangy and tender, with a sassy under-current of sweet rice vinegar and two kinds of sweet pork (ham hocks and smoked hog shanks), plus onions and garlic. Stick your fork in these greens and you come up with a forkful of greens.

Villa Victoria (3829 S. Edmunds St., Seattle; 206-329-1717)
There's no pork in these greens -- and they're still good. (They're the one in the picture above.) They're most al dente of the greens I surveyed -- chewable, but not tough. Tomatoes, onions, garlic standout in texture and flavor. Sold by the pound; take-out only.

Southern Kitchen (1716 6th Ave., Tacoma; 253-627-4282)
Sweet, comforting and slightly mysterious: Is that brown sugar or molasses that mellows out the collards' natural funk? No matter. Good greens, simmered tender, but not too soft. The meat's beef bacon, not pork.

Porter's Place (2615 E. N St., Tacoma253-472-6595)
No, those greens aren't soup -- they're just served with plenty of potlikker, greens' simmering liquid. Cooked beyond tender but not quite to mush, these greens include tons of sweet smoked barbecue pork. Onions and garlic thicken the flavors.

This "Almond Roca Cake" contains no Almond Roca. But it's got loads of butter.

Did you ever have an existential conversation about butter? Looking at my notes from a telephone conversation with the candy wonks at Tacoma's Brown & Haley, I think I did have an existential conversation about butter.

"What is the meaning of Roca?" asked Pierson Clair, Brown & Haley's CEO. "Now that the brand is truly Roca and almond, cashew and candy cane are the flavor elements, the meaning of Roca is butter crunch toffee."

Roca, you see, is all about butter.

"Massive," Clair said. "Butter is truly the real carrier of the flavor."

Clair and COO John Melin were proprietarily discrete about how much butter goes into every pound of almond, cashew or candy cane Roca. But Clair said the company uses more than 2 million pounds of "American, salted, West Coast, usually WestFarm, butter, 80 percent milk fat" annually.

"We're very lavish," said Melin, who hails from "a butter family" from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. "Butter gives you the bite. Butter plays a significant factor in the texture."

A crunchy candy that's like butter.

"Butter just makes everything more rich and real," said Gay Landry, who uses butter in her truffles, cakes and pastries at Affairs Bakery and Cafe in University Place. (Landry's two exceptions: Shortening gives her gingersnaps their snap and canola oil gives carrot cake luscious density.)

"It's a sensory issue," she said. "Artificial fats like Crisco have the consistency but they don't have the mouthfeel."

With butter, Landry said, "Everything comes out more flaky, richer, buttery. There really isn't another way to say it."

In tomorrow's GO section, I'll tell you about some terrific tamales in Tacoma. (I'm also scheduled to go on Tom Douglas' Radio Show on Saturday, 4:30-5 p.m., KIRO 710 AM, to talk about tamales, but more about that soon.)

I'll tell you now about the tamales at Aroma Cafe in downtown Tacoma. Not because they're the best tamales in town (although they are good, and worth singing about).

I'm telling you here and now because Aroma's chicken tamales with tomatillo sauce ($8.25, with salad) are only available on Thursdays, as a lunch special.

Today is a Thursday, un dia de tamal. See those tamales in the post below? Those are Aroma's tamales waiting to be steamed. Or sung about.

Aroma Cafe: 1001 Pacific Ave., Tacoma; 253-203-0016

This song is fictional, but universally true. I wrote the lyrics and the tune. I asked Dave Barfield to sing it. He asked Bill Leach to play guitar. It's called "My Lady of Tamales." It's about tamales, and a lot more. Which is what tamales are really all about.

My Lady of Tamales
Written by Ed Murrieta
Vocals: Dave Barfield
Guitar: Bill Leach
© 2007 HGI Publishing

All rights are reserved. Duplication is strictly prohibited without permission of HGI Publishing

The lyrics are a click away.

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Aye, aye, aye, aye:
The churro bandito!

Once salsa surpassed ketchup, you knew this would happen: Churros are everywhere, or at least at a shopping mall near you.

Cinnabon is the latest to serve churros, the elongated Mexican donuts covered in cinnamon and sugar.

Cinnabon's churros were the most expensive and second-least enjoyable churros I tasted during my eating tour of South Sound malls.

Pictures don't lie. Cinnabon's churros cost $1.99. Each.

The two churros I purchased, at different malls, were both tough and chewy. Did I mention they were horribly expensive, too?

The fanciest – and least enjoyable – churros were served at Mojito Bay, a sit-down Latin fusion restaurant/bar/lounge in Olympia's Capital Mall. Talk about fusion: These churros weren't soft cakey logs of fried batter; they were bread sticks twisted into knots. No cinnamon. No sugar. And desperately in need of salt.

The best churros are at Moctezuma's food-court taqueria in Tacoma Mall. They're 99 cents. They're filled with pastry cream (vanilla, chocolate or strawberry). Mine was made to order. I washed it down with a tart and slushy virgin margarita. El-yumo.

The second-best churros are pretzels. Aunt Annie's (various malls) dusts buttery pretzel sticks with cinnamon sugar. Choose the caramel dipping sauce. Dee-lish.

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE
LAS VEGAS -- Arriving at McCarran International from Sea-Tac International for an Off-The-Strip eating excursion, I experienced slot machine envy. Why, I wondered, can’t Washington’s Indian tribes cook up some Sea-Tac casino action?

As I pondered this over several sips of brewed-in-Las Vegas beers, envy turned to pity:

Las Vegas may have better casinos than we have in Washington, but their lagers and ales pale in comparison to those brewed in the Pacific Northwest.

Then I realized that sipping microbrews at 5 a.m. was something I’d have a hard time doing legally in Puget Sound pubs. Even the mediocre beers tasted pretty good at this hour. All the town’s microbreweries are open 24 hours.

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As promised in today's GO cover story in which this critic gives thanks, here are eateries, drinkeries and their contact info:

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Today, in GO, I write about lunch

I love lunch. It's pretty much how I got the job I have today.

In a nutshell, circa 1984: A junior college newspaper editor devises a column to explain away the many long, lingering lunches he and his scribe-and-shooter buddies called "research."

Not much has changed, except my "Lunch on a Budget" concept now has a bigger budget.

(Which seems a good time to say to the lady who ran the college newspaper: Thank you, Dr. Stephens, for giving me the freedom to learn my trade.)

I've worked swing shift, graveyard and 9 to 5. A sit-down meal between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. -- with a book or over great conversation -- perked up any job I've had.

Do you like lunch? Love it? What about it? Where do you go? What do you indulge in?

It may look like I'm out to lunch, but I'm listening ...

Jerky: The other artisan meat

I told my editors that jerky fell into my lap. Actually, it fell into Ed's Diner by way of my e-mail.

An Ed's Diner regular asked if I've ever made jerky. I asked you on Ed's Diner. A bunch of you weighed in.

I was off to story land.

I even produced a video of my blog-driven South Sound jerky odyssey.

So, thanks!

Paired with my SoundLife story today, here are some video clips of Angi Unger, owner of Bacchante Wine & Essentials in Tacoma, discussing barbecue wines.

• Let's talk about barbecue wines.

•Let's talk about white wines.

•Let's talk about red wines.