I'm vacationing, without food, on my deck.

Ed's Diner is closed for vacation until July 28. When I'm not fasting, I'll be cooking and baking for myself.

The You Plate Special remains open for self-service blogging.

Journalists like to think we're prepared for anything. Yeah, well ... I went to the bathroom and missed the on-stage fight at the Snoop Dogg show at White River a couple years back. Stuff happens.

Something happened Saturday night near the end of dinner:

A big fat fly the size of a raisin emerged from the succotash and hobbled across the table.

Did the fat fly land on the plate? It was a warm night on the mountain, the dining room door was open, the air inside hung.

Did the fat fly get cooked into the dish? It had emerged from the succotash. The fly looked stunned and hobbled, unable to fly. Was that a sheen of sauce on its wings and body?

I had no clue what to.

Atavistic instinct kicked in.

I picked up the glass candle votive and chased the hobbled fly across the table -- trying to smash it as it hobbled under the lip of the bread plate, behind the Coke bottle, and finally off the edge of the table.

Stuff happens, even to -- or perhaps especially to -- restaurant critics.

Two Swedes walked into Johnny's Dock just past 8 p.m. The kitchen was closed.

It was unclear whether the Swedes were sailors or tourists, but they had been in town for a few days and had gotten friendly with the waitresses. One of the Swedes -- he introduced himself as "Ül. It's a nickname for tree," and by the looks of him, he wasn't lying -- was more talkative than the other.

Asked where they ate the previous night, Ül said, "Alfred's."

A waitress asked, "How was it?"

Ül said, "Don't ask."

A waitress told the Swedes, "That's probably not your kind of food."

I put down my PBR, pondered Alfred's barbecued pork pizza, spaghetti and burgers and wondered: What does a Swede eat in Tacoma?

Ül and his buddy left without elaboration. But I think a waitress was onto them it as she sent them off to dinner at Stanley & Seafort's:

"Enjoy your pea salad," she said.

Can't you smell that smell? I did, even before my longtime dining companion turned up her nose and said, "I don't want to be here."

Last week's stinky dinner -- the food was good, the air was greasy and the owner eventually turned on the ceiling fan -- wasn't the first time that a restaurant didn't pass my longtime dining companion's sniff test.

Mold.

Lysol.

Smoke.

General funk.

My longtime dining companion has been odiferiously offended by all of them. In the past, we've walked out of restaurants rather than stay. This time, I gave my longtime dining companion the vinegar-and-dagger look that said, "Hold your nose and eat. I've got a job to do."

Which leads to a simmering question:

What kind of restaurant smells annoy you? What do you do when something stinks?

The judges of the Best of the West journalism contest liked this blog enough to give it second place in blog judging. Here are their real kudos, in my view:

The "You Plate Special" is a nice touch. This writer is confident - and community-minded - enough to turn over the reins of the blog to his users.

Can't do stuff like this without you. Thanks, gang.

I get calls, I get e-mail, I got a requests from a stumped Seattle food writer. Here's one, forwarded from a Seattle diner:

I know your specialty is Seattle and its glorious bounty, but I was wondering if you could recommend a nice place to have dinner in Tacoma. The menu at Pacific Grill looked good (a little pricey for us); have you heard of/been to other establishments that are equally delicious and affordable?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Best,

Amy

Dear Amy:

Welcome to Tacoma. Our restaurants welcome your patronage.

Given that Pacific Grill's entrees range from $24.95 to $39.95 (from clam linguine to Angus filet, with a delectable-sounding spring lamb in the middle at $28), I'll assume that by affordable you mean dinner entrees in $15-$25 range.

But first I'll recommend that you consider Pacific Grill's bar menu for dinner. Yes, you'll have to dine in the bar area (where the service and decor are just as stylish and comforting as in the dining room) but understand this: Pacific Grill's bar menu is better than many dinner menus in Tacoma. A knife-and-fork pork roast sloppy Joe is $11.95. Steak and caviar are $19.95. Lamb tartare is $12. Burger sliders, Kobe hot dog sliders and
pulled pork sliders are all under $12.

For your sit-down dinner needs in the price range I assume you're looking for, I'll direct you toward Primo Grill. Try a grilled organic half chicken or Guinness-braised lamb shank for $21, veggie-goat cheese lasagna for $15, or wood-fired pizzas that stack up with the best pies in your town, $13-$15.

Not far from Primo Grill is Crown Bar, launched by the owners of Primo Grill. Don't let the bar name fool you. Try juicy, tender buttermilk organic fried chicken with mashed potatoes and greens for $18. Like fried oysters? Best ones I've had in the last four years were at Crown Bar. You'll also find steaks, kebabs, falafel, and Cougar Gold mac & cheese, all in your price range.

Want to try some place brand new? Maxwell's Speakeasy + Lounge opened last week in Tacoma's up-and-coming condo district. Maxwell's menu's designed around small plates and sharable entrees and side dishes, most priced $6-$21. (The pricey exception is a $32 rib steak.) On opening night, dinner for two cost $43.56 before tip. Here's what we had: three lamb porterhouse chops from Ellensburg, pink inside, chary outside; onion soup made with Walla Wallas; oysters with pomegranite mignonet; smoked pork rillettes; and a trio of Olympic mountain ice creams (be sure to get the cinnamon).

(Oh, and, Amy, note this: Maxwell's already has attracted veterans of the Seattle dining scene. Tewfik Boulenouar, described by Seattle food writers as a front-of-the-house dynamo from his days at Coupage, El Gaucho and Waterfront Seafood Grill, helped open Maxwell's. He's being replaced by Rich Troiani, a recognizable name from Troiani Ristorante Italiano and other Mackay restaurants in Seattle.)

Not far from Maxwell's is another new place that's equally delicious and affordable, at least when it comes to pizza. Harmon's Hub does seriously good hearth-baked pizza that aims for Tom Douglas territory.

Speaking of Tom Douglas, his sister, Michele, co-owns Tempest Lounge, the tastiest bar on Tacoma's Hilltop. Try homey entrees like ham and scalloped potatoes, roast chicken with spinach, and baked-to-order cookies.

If you're looking for any more tips on South Sound restaurants, Amy, you can search the News Tribune's GO & DO restaurant guide.

Happy eating in the South Sound.

Best,

Ed Murrieta

PS to everybody: Do you have any South Sound dining tips for Amy or anyone else from Seattle?

Ed: Since tiny family owned restaurants are both our passions, let me recommend ...

I've got an e-mail thing going on with an elected state official who prefers not to make culinary comments in public forums. I don't vote for him, but I respect his tastes.

So, in the interest of democracy, I'm asking you to lobby for your favorite restaurants. If you recommend interesting places I haven't been, I'll check them out and publish my reviews side-by-side with your comments.

Someone asked me: Do you ever eat out for fun? Do you eat out without being a critic?

I tried that Saturday night. It didn't work.

It was my night off. I was battling fever and aches. I craved fried chicken. I'd promised my bosses that I'd be on budget hiatus through the end of the month. I was spending my own money.

One of the owners of the restaurant dropped by my table to tell me that the chef is now asking his grass-fed beef supplier to cut more fat into their hamburger. (In a fog of fever, I recalled writing that this restaurant's burgers were lean to the point of flavorless). Then she swung by my table to show me a cocktail the bartender had just concocted. Then the bartender delivered three cocktails for me to check out.

Do you ever eat out for fun? Do you eat out without being a critic?

Maybe. Can you recommend a good restaurant in Seattle? I was up there on my day off, at Quinn's on Capital Hill. I enjoyed a bowl of white-bean soup with preserved lemon, goat cheese and parsley pesto. I savored a pork-sausage sandwich on a baguette with meat-studded sauerkraut. (I was also tickled pink that Quinn's, a "gastro pub," ignores IPA in this neck of the woods.)

After I ate lunch, I gave the bartender my credit card. He returned, with the card and the receipt. "Thank you, Mr. Murrieta," he said. I was just another guy having lunch. It felt good.

(Had I been working, I would have scribbled the following in my notebook: bartender needs shower & shave; no table service -- sitting @ table/returning to bar to order food bad; bottles of tap water on every table -- nice; mmmm, rabbit pate...)

But back to Saturday night.

Do you ever eat out for fun? Do you eat out without being a critic?

I chatted with the restaurant owner, to be polite. I sipped the cocktails, to be polite. On my way out, I thanked the bartender and told him not to be offended by the mostly-full glasses I'd left on the table, along with an unfinished (and unordered) toast-and-dip appetizer the owner had delivered earlier.

I enjoyed everything I bought and paid for that night. Despite the good company (I BYO'd my own date), despite the good food (the smaller the chicken, the sweeter the meat!), I didn't have fun.

Do you ever eat out for fun? Do you eat out without being a critic?

Sometimes I want to be the one to eat in the sun. Sometimes I just want to have fun.

Try out our new restaurant guide

• Search location, cuisine and more
• Find my recommendations
• Write your own reviews and star ratings

Like the South Sound's dining scene itself, this restaurant guide is evolving. Know of a restaurant that's not in there? Tell us. Got technical questions about the database? Our interactive staff is standing by to answer questions. Got questions or comments about the reviews themselves? I'll answer what I can. Enjoy, and happy eating.

Did you enjoy free dinner and drinks at Hotel Murano's new restaurant, The Bite, last night? I did. It was training day; all customers dined for free, with complimentary wine, beer and mineral water.

(I didn't know dinner was free until I asked for the bill. My dining companion had been tipped off by a lady in the ladies' room. She chose not to tell me lest I get suspicious. I've stumbled into these situations before. Sometimes a free meal is just a free meal. Like other diners, I filled out a comments slip, answering a few questions about the food and service.)

The Bite officially opened today. Guess what? The menus look vaguely Mediterannean. Here's what we can purchase at breakfast, lunch and dinner:

Grapefruit brulee (two halves, with caramelized sugar); gingerbread French toast; pigs in a quilt, limencello-cured salmon on a bagel; a Barcelona omelet (chorizo sausage, Manchego cheese, olives, peppers and salsa); an all-American eggs-meat-potatoes breakfast, and steak and eggs. Prices: $6-$17.

Lunch and dinner menus are similar, but differ in portions, prices and steaks. Entrees include a half-pound burger; shaved Reuben sandwich; crab ravioli, grilled chicken breast; grilled tofu; meatloaf; soups and salads. Prices: $6-$20 lunch, $6-$32 dinner.

Had I known Tuesday night's trial-run/server-training dinner was going to be free, I would have ordered the $18 meat-and-cheese board -- your choice of four items (meats: Salumi salami, mole salami, fennel salami and red-pepper salami, and prosciutto di Parma). That's a dear price to pay for two selections of meat and two selections of cheese (or four cheeses, or three meats and one cheese..._). For that kind of money, I want Armandino Batalli to personally slice my salami and kiss me on the cheek.

Service, however, looked like it was off to a good start. It was solicitous (I've never had my water topped off so many times) without being obsequious. Even though the meal was free, I left a tip equal to 20 percent of the price of the food I ate.

The Bite has a casual and stylish air -- a bit spare, a bit hotelly and a bit antiseptic, but comfortable and well-lit. Some of the furniture -- and especially those white plastic chairs -- scream Ikea. But I love the tile-walled bar, which accommodates solo diners at breakfast and lunch.

While a sign noted that The Bite is a work in progress, I suggest that Hotel Murano do a lot more work on the Bicentennial Pavilion plaza outside the restaurant's fourth-floor door -- the one that's easily accessible from the easy street parking on Market Street, where this local and his local dining companion parked. The plaza needs a good power-washing and some plants.

The Bite at Hotel Murano: 1320 Broadway, Tacoma; 253-572-3200

I get calls. I get e-mail. I get letters. This is the first literate one I've received that was written in pencil. It came from a 7-year-old reader.

Dear Mr. Murrieta,

My name is Milana D'Aniello. I am 7 years old. Can you please give me some advise for being a food critic.

When I grow up I want to be a food critic because I like to go to fancy restaurants with my mommy and daddy. I want to tell people if it is good for kids or not.

Indochine ☆ ☆ I didn't eat anything because it was too spicy.

Akasaka ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ The only thing bad was the mashed potato.

Please write back.

Thank you!

From Milana D'Aniello
Tacoma

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Mmmmm, Brussels sprouts.

A while back a caller accused me of eating "weird" un-American food. To which I say: Thanks for reading my work, bubba.

Now read this: DeCaterina's Market Grill and Bar served me Brussels sprouts the other night. The night before, Woody's on the Water served celeriac.

As all-American Larry the Cable Guy might say: I don't care who you are, them's good eating right there, I tell you what.

Brussels sprouts are one of my favorite vegetables. Celeriac, a root vegetable cousin of celery, is now on the list, too.

At DeCaterina's, chef Matt Brandsey roasted and blackened the little cabbages. A little horseradish added appealing edge. (Look for my review of DeCaterina's in Friday's GO section.)

At Woody's on the Water, chef Chris Bangert roasted celeriac until it was tender, but still with some life. He served it atop mashed sweet potatoes. An earthy sweetness filled my mouth.

Chefs: Thank you for going beyond the standard broccolini-squash-carrots-green beans of most vegetable side dishes.

DeCaterina's Market Grill and Bar: 328 S. Meridian St., Puyallup; 253-848-1553. Woody's on the Water: 1715 Dock St., Tacoma; 253-272-1433.